The Psychology of Beauty

 

  While browsing the luminous makeup counters in the cosmetic section of my favorite department store, a thought-provoking observation occurred to me about the women who work there and the heavy makeup they display, almost like kids wearing masks on Halloween. Then one of them smiles at me and calls out, ‘Hi! I’m Mindy!  How are you?’  Her eyes stand at attention on her face framed with bold and long, curly black false eyelashes trimmed with thick, raccoon-like lines of painted black liquid liner drawn thick, practically covering her eyes and connecting her lashes to her glittering sapphire-shadowed lids. Her prominent cheekbones shimmer in sparkling shades of pinks and reds, her lips are stained to match, outlined to enhance their fullness, glossed to a shining finish.  Her deep bronze foundation is the color of suntan.  Her kindness was apparent and I immediately feel a sense of pity for her, as she teeters, then balances, in five-inch red patent stiletto heels as she wiggles and darts around the cases and counters in search of products, looking for the perfumes and moisturizers like a lady-in-waiting for her wealthy, well-dressed customers. When the hub-bub dies down, she and her colleagues check themselves in mirrors, adjust makeup, brush and spray overdone, teased hair, and dab perfume on wrists. 

I deliberate about the superficial face paint and penciled eyebrows drawn into two upside-down smiles on her forehead. I speculate what Mindy would look like when the makeup is removed. She tells me she is married and I’m immediately curious about her husband, and what he thinks of her without her gleaming façade. I wonder how Mindy feels about herself without the pretense of makeup.  It seems to me that, sadly, her sense of beauty, hence her sense of self-worth, is validated only with the camouflage.  I desperately want to tell her I wish she could appreciate herself just for who she is, a kind and worthwhile person. 

I wonder if striving to look like a mature version of a Barbie doll simply what is expected of her and if she is in pursuit of this sense of beauty for herself, for men, or other women. Feeling beautiful can ease the 'pain' of growing older, a feature not revered in our culture, but I believe the media is to blame with their underlying messages that women are not good enough the way they are but need certain products to improve their looks or their relationships. 

We need to be mindful of The Beauty Ideal, as read in Chapter 5 of our text, and know that, while these images shape women’s lives, it is a huge aspect of corporate capitalism and U.S. consumerism, and gendered beauty practices are related to products and commodities that women are encouraged to purchase.    And t most of us, buy into that premise.  We need to de-emphasize this aspect of our being and encourage young girls to build stronger intrinsic selves, to make that the priority rather than these external images.   

  

Why Aren't We Good Enough?

 

       Today's young women are having struggles with career and life decisions, second-guesses on the road not taken, and the belief that they should, would, could, and will have it all: a successful career, a fabulous husband, great sex, beautiful, smart children, and the home of their dreams.  They don't want to accept anything less than perfection.   And we have our body images to live up to, just like the Barbie Dolls.  We just can't be good enough, responsible enough or even polite enough to one another.  

      Women, as a whole, aim to please.  We want to please our men, our children, and  our friends.  We seem to be hard-wired in that direction, we don't want to let anyone down,  so we hang in there not wanting to disappoint.  Yet,  studies show girls have many more stress-related problems than boys such as depression, eating disorders, and migraines.  

      Why is this?  For the most part, we've been conditioned to please and to take responsibility for everyone's happiness [maybe except our own].  We were inculcated this way, the fulfillment of the 'female binary' awaits us.  This notion takes us back to essentialism, which maintains the male/female binary and essentialist view through which women traditionally have been rendered as 'less than'.  Our binary dictates we are supposed to be weak, passive, followers.  If we are taught we are less than, how can we ever be good enough?

Does Size Matter?

      Much has been written and discussed about 'sizeism'.  It is discussed in Chapter Two, Systems of Privilege and Inequality, of our text and again in Chapter Five, The "Beauty" Ideal, and Love Your Fat Self with regard to weight.  While I cannot disagree with these notions, there is another aspect of sizeism that may have been overlooked, that being height, or the lack thereof.  There are many reasons why this is an issue we need to recognize.

       In general, females are smaller in body size than males. It's genetic, it's in our DNA.  To a man who believes his physically larger size entitles him to superiority over a woman, it is easy to see how sexual domination and oppression, both in the emotional and physical realm, can evolve in a relationship. Height is viewed as a positive feature while shortness is seen as a negative one   in other aspects of our society.       

      There is a culturally unspoken underlying disrespect for short people.  Prejudice toward individuals who are 'vertically challenged' [a popular euphemism for shortness] is ubiquitous in other aspects of our society.   Shortness can be a source for bullying behavior among children and teenagers, especially toward short boys.  Various studies reveal prospective employers prefer taller individuals who commonly  are chosen for hire over shorter people. In the United States, statistics demonstrate that in presidential elections, the taller candidate usually wins.  On a personal level, there are instances when I have  been overlooked waiting in line for service while someone taller [and/or male] is offered assistance, literally, over my head.  I was particularly appalled when I experienced this quite recently in Cafe Rachel.

      With regard to the heteroabnormality of extreme shortness known as dwarfism, Rosie O'Donnell, was quoted recently on her show as saying to Chelsea Handler,  'I'm a little ashamed about it but I have a mild fear or anxiety around little people.'  Rosie, a card-carrying lesbian, a member of an oppressed segment of our society, says she is afraid of them, while Chelsea loves them.  Both Handler and O'Donnell have become a big issue for Little People of America [LPA], a support group for Americans of short stature due to dwarfism.  LPA has problems with both O'Donnell and Handler [who also used pity rhetoric in discussing the topic], but has a bigger issue with Rosie because she attributes her feelings to heredity.  "My Nana was afraid of the Wizard Of Oz munchkins."  LPS spokeswoman, Leah Smith say the comedian is perpetuating fear-based attitudes and suggests we should, instead, learn how to accept differences.

      We need to address these issues and open up to recognizing all facets and forms of sizeism, before it bleeds over into another category of discrimination and oppression and becomes a disability. 

Liberty, Justice & Marriage Equality

       

        California’s same-sex marriage ban, known as Proposition 8, was recently ruled unconstitutional by a federal appeals court, declaring it serves no purpose other than to “lessen the status and human dignity” of gays.  The ban on gay marriage was originally approved by voters in 2008 with 52% of the vote, however, it was since declared unconstitutional because it singled out a minority group for unnecessary, unequal treatment. 

     The three-judge panel of California’s 9^th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals concluded the law had no purpose other than to deny gay couples marriage.  The state of California already grants couples all the rights and benefits of marriage if they register as domestic partners. The single dissenting judge insisted the ban could help ensure that children are raised by married, opposite-sex parents. 

      While reading this piece of news, I was reminded of a statement Rick Santorum recently made vis-à-vis this same topic. Santorum suggested ‘it was so important for children to have both a father and mother that an imprisoned father was preferable to a same-sex parent….that even fathers in jail who had abandoned their kids were still better than no father at all to have in their children’s lives…’  This, alongside other misogynous statements he has made lately involving women in the military and birth control, is appallingly outrageous and offensive.

      These sort of speeches make me wonder if people who are that homophobic aren’t just gay themselves [as this has played out publicly apropos other politicians] but not admitting to it, or have so much self-loathing because of it that they have to make everyone else as miserable as they are.  I don’t understand the mind-set of people who have to dictate to others what they can or cannot do concerning their sexual preferences and choices.  They want the entire society to portray the role of heteronormativity; anything else simply isn’t acceptable.